A Better Pipe Smoking Community

This is a road that I was forced down kicking and screaming on two occasions. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Try to be kind and speak sweetly if at all possible. This could blow over (unless she has some other definite plan in mind). Anything you say or do will be remembered forever and never forgiven (kind of like all things in married life). Get a GOOD divorce lawyer and follow his advice.
Try to keep your sanity(easier said than done).
NEVER deal in cash unless you get a receipt.
Never deal in cash unless you get a receipt.
never deal in cash unless you get a receipt.
I wish you well.

Having been through a divorce, let me say that it was a messy, nasty business. Expect to go through the 5 stages of grieving - Disbelief, Anger, Bargaining, Depression & finally Acceptance. There is no escaping this & it can take many months, even years. A good therapist can help you process all of it. Accept that the feelings you have (guilt, betrayal etc) are normal. But understand that you will eventually get over it. Stay close to your friends & family - they will help to anchor you in this difficult time. For me, divorce was a process not an event - a process of letting go & starting afresh. You have my sympathy - it really is a tough one.

Aw, crap! I've been down that road. It never came to an actual divorce, but close enough. Whatever you need, say the word.

Skype me up if you need to talk. Let me know when's good for you and never mind the time zones.

... "Marriage is like a tub of hot water. Once you get in it's not so hot!" I don't agree. My second marriage is a charm. Know this, Steve, there is life after divorce. Just get through it and keep looking forward. Finding your new girl friend is the fun part! It's the best damn therapy there is (in my opinion). Pm me anytime.

that's hard news and hard to live through, but you seem to have a solid personality and I have faith you'll adjust however things turn out, just don't drink yourself into a pit, it can be hard to climb out.
Mouse

Wow Steve I'm sorry to hear that. Ive been through one divorce myself and it was actually pretty clean.
WIsh you the best, and if you need anything at all, even if its just to talk pm me and I'll give you my number.
We're there for you bud.

Thanks for all the well wishes guys. I have convinced her that we should go to marriage counseling before we do anything rash. We are at different houses for the weekend. But I have more faith in the situation then when it happened last night. We both absolutely love each other, but I have alot I need to do to change or be better at, and I am sure there are things she could improve on.

But I hope for the best. I am going to try my damnedest to keep this thing alive. We have been together for six and married for three. Wont go down without a fight.

And Mouse, definitely taking this one sober. Last time I had relationship problems I drank a bit (not too much I had to drive home, wanted to be a cop can't have a DUI) but this time I don't even see the point of drinking. I went on a five hour hike today and drank tons of water.

Thanks for the support. I will check in soon

As I said, I am here for you too, as are the other's. Just PM me and I will respond as you need... I've been there, done that. Be forwarned, I will play devils advocate so that I can understand both sides. You will always get a straight truthful response from me, regardless how you report.

My first question for you is...

any of us are here for you buddy. i can tell by the way you talk about your wife that you are in love so fight for her while you still can.

As the others have expressed, PM me if you ever need to vent.

I've never been down that road but I wish you luck. My marriage is not like the calm sea, it's like a country road with a lot of ups and downs, it looks that we are always on the edge, but somehow we are still going on, after 8 years... Flowers always help... :-)

I might not be very helpful with advice about divorce or in keeping your marriage happy but all I can say is do your best to try keeping things together. I'm married for 22 years to the same wife and it's definitely NOT all moonshine and roses. I wish you the best for the future and feel free to shout if there's anything you think I can help with. Try not to do anything stupid ;-)